keeping it real Wednesday...

A distant friend of mine, whose FB feed I highly enjoy and who I wish I had the chance to become real friends with; but can't due to distance and difference in stages of life has started a "keeping it real Wednesdays." She lives in Cambridge, and it may seem like she has a picturesque, wonderful time with her three children picking blackberries in the park, reading Narnia series, getting groceries delivered to her flat... but she posts the hard stuff on Wednesdays. Not to complain... but to keep it real. Like, last Wednesday she took a picture of the hallway in their teensy flat... with stuff everywhere. Life is not always picture perfect, though FB makes it seem that way.

So I don't want to complain today. I do have the most wonderful husband, who last night when I simply could not keep going and slept through absolutely everything until midnight (woops).. took charge of the baby, fed him, burped him, dealt with an increasingly gassy/fussy baby, and changed his first ever poopy diaper (!! so proud of him. Kinda sad I wasn't awake to witness it. My husband does not do bodily fluids/semi-solids... and told me when I got pregnant that all poopy diapers would be mine. He he!) I also have the most compliant baby. He seriously is so calm most of the time. The only time he complains is at bath time, when I change his diaper, when he is super gassy, or when he is absolutely starving (aka: He's been giving me 'signals' that he's hungry for a while, and I am not paying attention). And I have a fabulous mother-in-law who unselfishly has served us fantastic meals breakfast, noon and night, has loved on us by making me all these crazy Chinese herbal teas, and has been a reassuring presence in our home for almost two weeks.

But we have had to switch formula which may be making Little Man a bit constipated (actually fussy every once in a while now), and he may be starting a growth spurt (every hour feedings?!), and I am making even less breast milk than my initial low supply (I'm only nursing now to give Little Man some antibodies and some skin to skin time, basically. Not real nutritional value. Frustrating to not live up to my expectations of myself.)... hence I am now super low on sleep. So very low on sleep. In fact, this picture was taken because he finally (finally after trying all night long) is asleep in his pack-n-play. Sigh. I know all new mothers go through this sleeplessness phase... but oh, boy. The prolactin headaches, and the no coffee - even though it feels like there's hardly enough breastmilk to warrant either. The stiff back, and the ever-present bone weariness - even in the face of the most adorable human being on earth. Even the well-meaning white ladies (cause lets face it, the Indian sample lady gave me a lecture about not taking that young of a baby out of the house before one month of life) at Costco that cooed and ahed over my teeny-tiny Little Man in a wrap carrier, and told me how wonderful this stage of life is... acknowledged the sleepless nights. But oh... he's so cute!! :)